No Chocolate? Impossible!

BSGR blog - When Betty tried to tackle her chocolate addiction with a creamy lemon pie

You Can Eat Glitter?

Grace and I were finally catching up on our latest baking escapades, as we sipped on homemade pumpkin spice lattes (much better than what you could get at you know where!). It’s the last days of summer before we return to our jobs as taxicab drivers again (for the kids!).
“I can’t believe you put glitter on the cake. And everyone turned out okay?” Grace asked rolling her eyes. I decided to keep that door closed. “What about your hubby?” she continued. “I made him suffer a couple of days, poor thing. He said the guests were quite impressed, even though they were hoping for grilled steak or kabobs or something, seeing as how they were MEAT LOVERS!”

Disrupting the Chocolate Paradigm

“You know, Betty, you need to add some variety to your repertoire,” said Grace. I started thinking about chocolate flambé, tiramisu parfaits, and chocolate-chip bread, when Grace interrupted my thoughts to say that I needed to get out of the chocolate routine. What?? “Well, yes, not everyone loves chocolate,” she continued, “and we need to cater to a wide crowd.” Wow, I thought. I heard on the news that people were really suffering, I didn’t know it was this bad.

Grace opened her tablet to show me the latest recipe she had found on Sally’s Baking Addiction blog. Creamy Lemon Pie. I stared at it. No chocolate. Personally? I think it looks kind of naked, but Grace insisted so I agreed to step out of my mold.

The No Chocolate Challenge

I wrote down the link and headed home, feeling surprisingly empowered. Afterall, everyone is disrupting paradigms. I can disrupt my chocolate paradigm! Maybe I can keep going and disrupt my kids’ need to leave their stuff all over the house! And I can disrupt my husband’s habit of always coming home late! This may be too much disrupting for one lifetime.

I went online and opened the link to the recipe. The Creamy Lemon Pie had its good points. For one, it was easy to make…only 7 ingredients. What could possibly go wrong with this recipe??

You need to make a crust with almonds and graham crackers. Sally suggested salted almonds, so you have this yin-yang effect going with the sweetness of the lemon cream filling. I just needed to buy some salted almonds, lemons to make fresh lemon juice, sweetened condensed milk, and cream to whip up garnish for the top.

Easy Is as Easy Does

So, with all the ingredients in hand, I began to make the crust. Simple enough. Put the graham crackers and salty almonds into the food processor. Hit the button and wait until everything becomes crumbly. Did you know there was a stage after “crumbly”? Yup, it’s called slop. What happened? Well right in the middle of it all, the doorbell rang…and you guessed it, 5 minutes later…slop.
Ok, start over. Thank goodness I thought to buy more graham crackers and almonds than I needed.
Round two…nice crumbly almonds/graham cracker mix, which then gets stirred into sugar and butter, spread in the pan and popped into the oven. Only 8 minutes.

Now I just had to make the filling, after squeezing out the lemons and adding sweetened condensed milk and egg yolks. I whipped everything up nicely and poured the filling into the warm crust. I was elated. I disrupted my chocolate paradigm!

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

I was almost finished. Grace is going to be so proud, I thought. I started whipping up the cream to make a garnish for the pie. I was thinking to make swans. At this point, an alien entered my kitchen. Yes! … an alien! It entered my head and totally twisted my thoughts. It said, “Betty, add a little bit of that premium chocolate to the whipped cream.” Like I was transported to a different dimension, the Matrix or something. I suddenly found myself looking at chocolate-infused whipped cream, which I turned into the most stunning swans you have ever seen sitting on top of a creamy lemon pie.

I took it over to Grace. “Here it is! Creamy Lemon Pie! Grace was ecstatic. She quickly took out a couple of plates, poured us vodka-infused mint teas and then came to slice the pie.
“What are those?” she asked.
“Swans,” I replied.
“Yeah, but how come the swans are brown?”
I didn’t know what to say exactly, so I started murmuring about how I was whipping the cream and then…
“They’re chocolate!!! It was supposed to be NO Chocolate!”
“There were aliens!” I cried out.

Actually, the pie was DEEEElicious! And even Grace had to admit that the chocolate swans added to the yin-yang effect.
Well, there’s always tomorrow for disrupting paradigms.

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