Yellow Is the New Green

Grace decides to take a shortcut and use pudding mix, mint extract and chocolate chips to whip up a delicious green mess, except it wasn't green.

Mint Chocolate Chip Cookies Anyone?

First thing’s first: here’s a link to the recipe.

After my cotton candy escapade, I thought I’d keep things simple in the kitchen for a while. Hello microwave meals and store-bought treats! After all, there is no use in baking myself crazy with too many complicated culinary attempts.

The problem was that I really, REALLY wanted cookies. And by cookies, I don’t mean ones that come in plastic wrapping. My craving was for the decadent ooey-gooey yummylicious fresh-from-the-oven crunchy but soft, warm kind of cookie. And if I wasn’t going to brave the kitchen again, who would? Lori was staying over at Goldi for the weekend and Rob is so hopeless in the kitchen he’d burn the water before boiling an egg. Of course, cats can’t bake either, what with not having opposable thumbs or the ability to read. What was I going to do to satisfy the craving?

If There’s a Whisk, There’s a Way

Surely there are simple recipes for cookies out there, right? I hit up my old buddy Google and sure as sprinkles on a birthday cake, I founda super simple cookie recipe that uses instant pudding mix. It had quite a lot of ingredients, but it looked easy as pie. Also, I’ve never had mint chocolate chip cookies before, which is weird because I adore the chocolate mint combination, it’s even my favorite ice cream flavor. In fact, these cookies kind of looked like blobs of yummy mint chocolate chip ice cream. Hmm, imagine eating some warm cookies with a big dollop of ice cream! I couldn’t wait for these cookies to get out of the oven and into my belly.

A Color Crisis

I got all the ingredients out, and I actually had everything, except for green and blue food dye which I probably finished with the cotton candy mission. Did I even use those colors for that? I obviously didn’t notice it was finished because I had sugar clumping my eyelashes together. I’m still finding bits of spun sugar in my kitchen in odd places, not to mention Lori picking out cotton candy from my ear as I was driving her to school the next day. No green or blue meant that I either had to leave the cookie dough a dull color or use the yellow food dye. Beige minty cookies? Yuck. I decided to go with yellow.

Surely Mint Can be Yellow

I plugged in good old Georgia to get the show on the road. In case you don’t know, Georgia is my trusty Kenwood food processor. She’s so darn amazing I had to give her a name. Some people give their cars names, right? Why not a magnificent machine like my Kenwood? In went the butter and sugar and Georgia did all the work to get it all fluffy and creamy. Remember the whole idea was to make something really simple. In went the egg, the yogurt, and the pudding mix. Then the dry ingredients and the mint essence. The smell was divine… and I started drooling right away.

Why, Oh Why Does Salmonella Exist?

I am always so tempted to eat the dough or batter of whatever I’m baking. Maybe I should look into trying some egg-free baking in the future. Betty once baked a vegan avocado chocolate cake for some vegan guests which turned out great, even though it also turned out that nobody was vegan. Is never eating a cheeseburger really something to joke about? Finally, it was time to add the food coloring and the chocolate chips.

This Is When Things Went Nuclear

I’m not sure if it was the combination of the mint essence and the yellow food dye, or whether I put too much in. I put 18 drops of yellow in. But there was a little left in the bottle and I figured I may as well use it all up and then stock up on all the colors again when I go to the store. Maybe the dye was old or there was some chemical reaction with the spatula I used to stir it in. Whatever it was, the dough turned into something that looks like it was dumped as toxic waste. It was almost glowing. I mean it looked like it was radioactive. This dough should come with sound effects and a warning!

At that point, I didn’t know if I should be excited or afraid. Of course, I had to see it through so I added the chocolate chips, dropped tablespoons of the batter onto a baking sheet, and popped it into the oven. Well, the end result looked nothing like mint chocolate chip ice cream and more like congealed toxic sludge, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing:

  1. I could eat the cookies all on my own (destroy the evidence)
  2. I could do that without feeling too guilty!

PS: Don’t tell Betty, but I didn’t answer the phone because I was too busy scarfing down the entire batch.

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